Are You Kidding ME?
by wildstone88
Summary: When that's Lily's new catchphrase, some bad things must be happening. Or at least she thinks there bad, so far! This is my first chapter story, so please be nice.
1. Are you kidding me?

**Are You Kidding ME?**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own anything, though I wish I did!<strong>

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><p>Over the summer I was, well not the happiest person in the world. I had to avoid Sev-Snape, had to deal with Petunia (which was so tiresome!), I also had to go to my dad's funeral. He passed away in July due to a disease. Whenever someone mentions I start crying. I haven't told my friends because I don't want them to worry. The whole family has been so sad that even Petunia couldn't yell at me. That is until I got my Head Badge.<p>

"Mom, Oh my god…. Mom! Can you believe it! I got it! I GOT MY HEAD BADGE!" I stood there holding my badge jumping up and doing a little happy dance.

"Would you shut up, Lily! Some people want to have a peaceful breakfast!" Petunia snapped at me from behind a wall of short dark hair.

"Petunia!" Mother scolded her with her fork in hand, " Let your sister be happy, this is a big deal!" My mother turned to me "So what exactly is Head Girl?"

"It's where you are just under the teachers, but above students and Prefects! You get your own room and everything!" I wasn't that bothered by what Petunia said, in fact I was actually wondering if she was ever going to get back to normal. My mom had been hit the hardest with dad's death. Even though she tried to be strong, sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night to hear her crying. She stopped crying a couple weeks ago. She was my hero. She had been there during everything. Petunia and I had cried our eyes for days. During that time she didn't even choke up. Mom's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"If your Head Girl, then there must be a Head Boy?" Mom said quirking her eyebrows. I laughed at what she was implying.

"There is a Head Boy; I just don't know who it is. Quite frustrating actually."

Petunia spoke up "Another one of your freaks more likely."

Mother looked furious. "Petunia do I have to make you go to your room when you are nearly 19!" Petunia stood up "I will go, just so I can be away from this freak!" Petunia strode out of the room, but not before muttering "Thank God Vernon doesn't know I have a sister like her!"

Those words hurt me the most. Vernon her boyfriend didn't even know that I was there. My mother sighed heavily and started clearing the plates.

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><p>I woke up on September 7 to hear a car door slamming. I lifted my head groggily and looked out the window to see Petunia's car screech out of the driveway and down the street. I sighed and fell back against her pillow. After a few more hours of sleep, I got dressed and the usual, but I charmed my trunk to be bigger so I put a ton more books in there.<p>

When my mom and I arrived at Platform 9 ¾ I hugged my mom and she whispered good-bye and to write every week. When I stepped inside the barrier, I was tackled to the ground by Alice Prewett. Alice is my best friend. She is a little shorter than I am with short dark brown hair. She started Frank Longbottom during the summer and wouldn't shut up about him, but they were so cute together that I couldn't be mad.

"Lily! Oh my god! How have you been? Frank and I hung out during the summer and it was… AMAZING!" She shouted that last part and many people were staring at us. She said this all really fast.

"I've been…good. I'm really happy for you and Frank! Now can you please get off of me, I have a need to breathe,"

I heaved a sigh of relief. I stood up and brushed myself off. I heard Alice gasp. I gave her a "what-are-doing" look and she pointed to my robes. I looked down and saw my Head Girl badge. Just then I remembered that I forgot to tell my friends about my badge. I smiled weakly "Surprise!" I said looking at her shyly. Then Alice started giggling and someone tapped me on the shoulder. I screamed and fell. When I saw who it was, I tried to send my best scowl at her. It failed. It was Emmeline Vance, other best friend, taller than Alice, but shorter than me. She has dark blonde hair that fell to her waist. She was also very bookish, more than, well, me. They both stared at my badge again then Emmeline pouted and said "How could not tell me! Whatever!" Then as she hugged us, we were all rammed into the ground. This time it was Hestia Jones. Hestia was the smallest out of all of us (meaning my group of friends Alice, Hestia, and Emmeline) and she had wavy dark hair and was known as the school flirt.

After she got over me being Head Girl ("Bloody Hell!") we all picked a compartment and Emmeline and I went to the Prefects compartment. Emmeline was in front of me and when she saw who the Head Boy was she smirked. I gave her a confused look in returned. That is until I saw who it was. James Potter was sitting there with the badge on. He looked at me worried that I was going to scream. I stood there for five minutes with my mouth hanging open. Finally I said

"Are you kidding me!"

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><p><strong>Reviews would be nice, just saying. This is my first story that has chapters so I am trying really hard to write some pretty long chapters! <strong>


	2. Seriously?

**I Don't Own Anything. There I said it! Can I go cry now!**

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><p><strong>Seriously!<strong>

I sat down and when he lets start, I couldn't even move. I was shocked to say the least. He just started without me. I sat there the whole time just staring at him because he was actually working! I mean come on! How the hell was I supposed to see that one coming! After everyone left it was just him and me.

"So, Evans was there something on my back or were you just staring at me for no reason," James said while cleaning up some papers. I sniffed and said "Very funny. I just can't believe it though." James looked at me.

"Why not?"

"Because it's really weird and kinda creepy seeing you doing work. I'm just gonna put this out there, are you a deatheater in disguise? Because then I want to thank you," James just sighed and walked past me. I stood there having no idea whatsoever on what was going on and I felt a little rejected. What's his problem? I was slowly making my way towards the compartment and replaying the scene over and over again in my head. I mean it wasn't that big of a deal. Was it?

When I reached my compartment all of them were staring at me with their arms crossed. "What?" They looked at me like seriously, you are asking that question. I backed away from them. Then Alice spoke up, "Remus came in here and told us what you said to James and we won't speak another word to you unless you apologize." Then they huffed and turned away from me. Woah! What the hell was going on here! I made my way out of the compartment and looked for James'. When I found it I walked in and they all looked at me. I thought better get it over and done with.

"Umm, sorry James for whatever I said, I don't really know what I said that upset you, but my friends won't talk to me unless I say sorry, so umm sorry?" They all just stared at me and then Sirius got up, grabbed my arm and lead my in to the hallway where he cast a charm so no one could hear us.

"Why the hell would you say that! I mean do you know how much he likes you! Are you really that cold and heartless!" Sirius' words were as sharp as a knife. I stared at him coldly. "Like your one to talk, Black! Do you realize how many girls have you picked up and dropped off!" Sirius stood there clenching his fists. Finally after trying to keep his voice from rising he said,

"Yes, but most of them know what they are getting themselves into. James has really tried to be different for YOU! You don't even give him a second glance. He will die for you and you trample on his heart! You know Remus told me about your sister, how she calls you a freak and everything; well you definitely aren't much better! I guess it runs in the family. I wonder if your mother and father have it!" He said the last part with a coldness that shocked me. He then turned on his heel and stalked off to the compartment.

I stared there in shock. Then, I ran past every compartment to the end of the train. There was a small balcony at the end of the train and that's where I go sometimes.

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><p>I leaned against the railing and finally I let the tears fall down my face. I slowly sat leaning against the railing. I didn't want to be mean, but I guess people just took it that why. It hurt me every time I said no to Potter because the pain on his face was horrible. I sat there in my robes watching and crying. I never liked to cry in front of people. Now that I was Head Girl, I really needed to show no pain and only confidence. I leaned my head against the railing; tears still were fresh on my face. I watched the sun go down, and smiled sadly. Dad loved the sun. Sunsets, sunrises, and anything with the sun in general. I looked at the sky wondering if he was watching. It has only been a month since he died and I could almost still feel him. What would think of me right now? Would he be proud? No, he wouldn't. I wiped my tears and stood up ran my fingers threw my hair and set off to the bathrooms. There I cold water on my face. When I looked in the mirror I saw I dead girl. I closed my eyes and smiled. It was a fake smile, but it could pass. I was just about to close my eyes again when I heard Alice voice floating through the halls.<p>

"Where is she! What if she was kidnapped! Oh my god! Guys we have to find her!" Alice's voice shook with worry. I stepped out of the bathroom. She put on my fake smile and said "Don't worry Alice I'm right here!" I put up a hand to stop her from starting to speak "I was busy doing rounds," Alice stared at her questioningly.

"How did you know what I was going to say? Hhmmm, Miss. I- can-read-your-mind!" I started laughing though it sounded weird to my ears.

"Alice I can't believe you asked me that!" I said in mock hurt. "Unfortunately, I have known you too long!" I grabbed her arm and headed to our compartment. On the way we met up with Emmeline and Hestia, both on the look-out for me. Emmeline was anyway. Hestia was, umm having a very interesting search in the closet with a seventh year Ravenclaw.

I collapsed in the seat and then the train stopped. I sighed heavily and pushed myself up. I had missed the trolley car, so I was starving. When I was looking for the carriages, I yelped because I saw they were carried by skeleton looking horse. I walked around it. I always thought the carriages were pulled by themselves. I reached a hand to touch it and I shivered as I realized these things were real. I was petting it for awhile until Hestia proclaimed I was crazy and hauled me into the carriage with her.

When we reached the Great Hall, my mouth started to water. As I said before I was so hungry! Professor Dumbledore finished his speech, finished sorting, and finally the food appeared. I didn't even bother putting any on my plate, I just grabbed and ate. I was doing this until Emmeline shouted

"Lily slow down! You're going to kill yourself!" With that I swallowed the huge amount of food in my mouth and smiled weakly.

"Sorry little bit starved over here." From then on I still piled food, but on my plate instead. When desert appeared Frank came over and sat down next to Alice and kissed her, then he looked at how much food I was eating and stated that I ate more than the whole Gryffindor boys combined. I stuck my tongue out at him and jumped for the desert.

When I made it to the Head's room, James was already waiting. He was the last person I wanted to see. I growled internally and asked what he was doing out here.

"We have to set the password." He said simply. I nodded and then groaned and held my stomach I ate way too much.

"Can you do that yourself and then tell me, please? I think I need to puke." With that I ran to the prefects bathroom and spent a good hour in there throwing up my beautiful dinner, but I couldn't do anything to stop it. Finally, after about an hour and a half, I went back to the Head's room. I asked for the password, but the portrait denied access. I really hadn't thought this through. I sighed.

"Seriously!"

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><p><strong>Thank you for the people who reviewed last chapter! I still looking for reviews though! Question though, do the students call him Professor Dumbledore or just Dumbledore? Thanks for reading!<strong>


	3. Strawberry Pancakes!

**I Personally like this chapter because it shows a different side of Lily**

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><p><strong>Strawberry Pancakes!<strong>

Now you must be wondering where I slept. I went to the Gryffindor Common Room. I didn't know the password, I wasn't really paying attention on the train, and the Fat Lady wasn't helping. She was VERY drunk. She proclaimed I couldn't go in without the password, even though I was Head Girl. So then, I walked around the castle for a bit and I was at the kitchens for most of the night talking to the House Elves. Then I went outside the Head's Room and I sat on the floor in the middle of the hallway. I made my body go rigid, I tensed up, and then let go. It was what I do every night before I go to bed. Then I fell back onto the floor, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

I woke with poking in my face. "Oi! Prongs get out here! Your girl is passed out in the hallway!" I sleepily slapped his hand away and turned over on my side away from them. I was just about to fall asleep again, when I felt the poking again. I cowered away from it. "Prongs, why is she sleeping out here?" Remus was the one speaking now. I could almost see James shrug. Wow. I know him a little too much at the moment. This time it was the same poke in the face, but harder. I groaned and put my arm up against the attacker. A few minutes later, I heard the voices of my friends. I heard Sirius speak again.

"Do you guys know what she is doing in the hallway?"

"No! James why is she sleeping in the hallway?"

"I don't know, she just said she needed to puke and ran before we could set the password." I felt someone kneel besides me. It was Alice. She was shaking me.

"Lily, come on Lily. You need to get up. We have classes in five minutes." That got me up. I shot up and tried to walk to the door, but fell because I couldn't see very well, so, instead I crawled. I turned my head to see everyone staring at me, trying to hold in their laughter.

"James what is the password?"

"Lions" With that the door swung open and I crawled up the steps. I stopped. The common room was amazing. I shook my head reminded myself that we have classes. I bolted up the steps, took a very quick shower, threw on some clothes, grabbed my books, and was with the group with one minute to spare. I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. I also closed my eyes because apparently my stomach didn't like me very much. I opened and saw everyone rolling on the floor laughing.

"Why are you guys laughing? Come on we have to get to class and we missed breakfast, so, we have to wait until lunch." I started walking away, but turned around when I saw no one was following me. They were laughing so hard they were crying. Then Alice choked out a couple words.

"We- were-lying- its only 7:30- we—have at- least-a-half-hour!" Everyone started laughing again. I stared in disbelieve. How could they do this to me!

"WHAT! Are you kidding ME!" They all started to get up. I crossed at looked at them with such a death glare they all sobered up at once.

"You guys know how my sleep is important to me and you wake me up at 7:30! How could you!" I stormed away to breakfast.

I sat down in the middle of the table, and since it was so early in the morning, hardly any one was there. I stabbed angrily at my food. Looking straight ahead, I chewed with anger. I was angry. In fact I was furious! My sleep was the most important thing to besides friends and family. I felt people sit besides me. It was Alice, Emmeline, and Hestia. They all looked at me and Hestia was the first one to speak up. She never did know how to keep her mouth shut.

"Lily are you okay?" I slowly put down my fork. I could feel the Marauders and my friends waiting for my answer. I put my elbows on the table, intertwined my fingers, and stared at her.

"Now Hestia, why would I not be okay? Is there something wrong in this picture?"

I said with sarcasm suger-coating my words. I laughed a humorless laugh "Oh, wait that's right, there is something wrong with this picture! You guys are here!" I laughed again, but stopped short and stared at each of them in the face. I tried not to think of the weird feeling in my stomach when I looked at James."If you guys ever wake me up at 7:30 that way again, I will personally torture and kill all of you." They all gulped. I smiled. "Good, now that we are on the same page, let's enjoy our breakfast!"

As everyone was reaching for the food, I laughed again. "I'm sorry I meant let me enjoy my breakfast, you guys don't get any because apparently in your minds we have five minutes to class!" I said grinning. They all stopped reaching for the food and shared glum faces. Sirius' stomaching rumbled and I said "Oh, poor Sirius. Are you hungry? Do you want some food?" Sirius' face lit up like a child on Christmas. I waved a pancake in his face. "Oh well! You should have thought about that earlier!" I then bit the small pancake and said that this was the best pancake I ever had! Though really, it was! It was amazing!

When I was finished my breakfast I stood up, smiled evilly at them and walked to potions. When I was at the door I turned back to see them reaching for food. I coughed loudly. They all turned around with pale faces. I said, "I am always watching," I walked out did a special charm that let me see the Great Hall and I laughed as they wondering what they should do. Sirius was the first one to grab food followed by everyone else. I rushed into the potions class. When they finally joined me I joked saying they looked a little fatter. They all paled. I grinned. I sat in the back with my friends, while the Marauders sat up front. Now I know what your thinking, but we have assigned seats so this is were we ended up.

I decided to see Potter freak out. While Professor Slughorn was talking, I enchanted a note to fly to Potter and when he opened it and read it he looked like he saw a ghost. He turned to me and I waved my fingers at him, while grinning evilly. He turned back to the Professor and kept looking back every ten minutes.

This went on for most of the classes, but the last one History of Magic. I had to sit next to him. He gulped and moved his chair farther away from me. I smiled at him and said that he didn't need to worry, yet. I winked at him and went back to the class, but I kept an eye on him the whole time. He didn't relax once, until at the end of class I burst out laughing. I couldn't stop laughing, even after Binns gave me detention. He visibly relaxed and when we were leaving he left the note on the table.

_~Potter, how'd you like those Strawberry Pancakes?~_

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><p><strong>I loved this chapter! Please review! Thank you so much!<strong>


	4. Goodnight Lily!

**Goodnight Lily!**

Weeks went by; everyone noticed how the Marauders and Lily's friends sat with them, except them. Mostly at breakfast, sometimes at lunch, and a little at dinner. They were together during classes and after. Lily was the first one to notice this. It was the 5th of October.

I sat there eating my breakfast, everyone silent because we were up late last night studying. Well, most of us anyway. *Cough* Sirius Black *cough.* I was replaying the conversation of last night in my head. I looked confused at my plate. Wait what? I was talking the Marauders! Me, Lily Evans! Sworn enemy! I looked around and I saw Alice, Emmeline, and Hestia, but I also saw Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James. When I said the name James it was like my stomach wanted me to flip on the spot.

I might be friends with the Marauders! I stood up and walked out of the Great Hall lost in thought. I heard someone come after me, but I didn't turn around. All I was thinking was bloody hell! How come this is happening? I didn't understand it. Suddenly I felt a strong arm turn me around. It was James. Great. Just great.

"Evans are you okay, you looked really confused and then you just walked away?" I refused to meet his gaze.

"Lily you can tell me," I realized he used my first name. I finally sucked it up and looked at him. He has the most amazing hazel eyes. I felt my heart melt a little.

Okay, since were being truthful, a lot. My heart kinda collapsed on me.

"It's nothing, ..James." His name sounded weird on my lips. His face was shocked. Then it quickly turned into confusion.

"You used my first name? Why?" I just sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Umm, James, the Marauders and my friends and I have been hanging out with you guys, shouldn't we be on a first name basis?" He then realized how much time we had been spending together.

"Bloody Hell! Wait until the others hear this!" I smirked at him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"How mature!" James just stuck his tongue out again. I laughed and we stood there in a comfortable silence.

**(James POV wanted to try something new!)**

I stood there looking at her. She laughed because of me! Not at me, but because of me! I looked at her green eyes and, even though I would never admit this, I loved her eyes. They made her whole face light up. Her blazing red hair balanced out her cool emerald eyes.

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><p><strong>(Everyone's POV)<strong>

"Come on let's get to class, maybe surprise them a little!" James laughed along with Lily and they both walked to class, telling jokes and laughing.

When the others got to class, they saw Lily and James talking like nothing had happened for the past six years. They all looked at each other and confirmed their suspicions. Lily liked James. Everyone, even Peter, could see it.

That night Lily just finished painting her nails a dark blue(fingers and toes), she was wearing a black and gray skirt with a dark blue tank top that had thick straps. They were having a girl's night in Lily's dorm (which they loved!) Then the girls shared a look, excluding Lily, and Alice nodded her head and spoke.

"So Lily, are there any boys in your life?" Lily looked up at Alice in confusion.

"Ummm, no not really." Lily was great at lying. She never really had to use it. Unfortunately, her friends saw right past it.

"There must be someone!" Lily looked at each of them and smirked.

"I will tell you if you tell me" No one could lie like Lily. They all shared glum faces and agreed. They really wanted to know if Lily liked James. Alice spoke first.

"I think I'm in love with Frank" The girls squealed and hugged their friend. Emmeline spoke next. She reddened.

"I sort of like Remus. A little bit. I mean it isn't anything big or now." She started rambling and everyone laughed, which just helped add color to her face. Everyone looked at Hestia expectantly. She stared back.

"Guys I don't 'like' a guy. I date them and move on." Everyone shrugged because 1) it was true and 2) because they wouldn't get anything else out of her. Now everyone looked at Lily and she was suddenly very afraid.

"I think I like that seventh year Hufflepuff, Amos Diggery." The girl's faces fell.

"Come on Lily, admit it you like James! Just admit!" Lily gulped

"Guys, please don't make me do this, please!" They all laughed at her and started yelling at her to tell them how much she liked James.

Hestia got serious first, "Lily he has changed! Why won't you except that!" Lily started to cry and said,

"Because he hurt my best friend so therefore he hurt me!" Emmeline was angry.

"Snape hurt you, not James! You are too conceited to even realize that the Marauders are nice people! They have done some things in the past that I bet they aren't proud of! Can you let it go!" Everyone stared in shock. Emmeline was usually the sensible, not the one to yell. Then Hestia and Alice got back from their shock and started yelling at Lily too, about how the Marauders where nice people and things like that.

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><p><strong>(Lily's POV)<strong>

I stared around wildly. Maybe I did have feelings for James. WHAT! Just great! So I did the sensible thing and I ran. I didn't have shoes on or make-up or anything except for my dark blue tank top and gray skirt. I felt my hair going down my back. I pushed through people in the hallways and I ran out the huge door at top speed. I just kept running. I felt the September wind brush against me arms, legs, and face. Then I saw the Black Lake. I ran faster then I thought humanly possible and dove in the water.

The water was freezing, but I welcomed it. I got out of the water and realized I didn't have my wand. I slumped down at the edge of the dock and slide back into the water. I did this again and again until I heard a noise coming from the water. I started walking back, but my back it something. I turned around and stared at the invisible barrier, but I wasn't afraid. I just lay down on the dock, staring at the sky. I heard a splash and whirled around. There in front of me was the Giant Squid.

It picked me up and I didn't try to squirm. He brought me close to his eye and I stared into it. Then I saw something I never thought I would see. Loneliness. People would say how the Giant Squid could eat you in a heartbeat, but this guy couldn't hurt a fly. I smiled at him and I swear I could see him smile just a little bit. He put me down on the dock and I sat down. He just stared at me. I stuck out my hand and said, "Hi, my name is Lily Evans. What's yours?" The Giant Squid looked confused then shook my hand (It went all slimy) Then with magic he wrote his name in beautiful shinning colors. _Ink Squidink. _He then wrote and asked me if I had a problem. I sighed and before I knew it, I was telling him everything. I was crying, I was laughing, I was smiling. It was the best time I had had all year. Then, I asked him what his problem was. _(Ink Squidink is like this)_

"_Everyone has been afraid of me. You're the first person I have seen not run away in 15 years." _I smiled at him and told him I was here for him and if he needs anything to come get me. He smiled sadly and sunk into the water, but I stayed where I was. This time it was dark and I lay down and fell asleep, but before I did. I felt ink rap an arm around me and I smiled. My new best friend was the Giant Squid, Ink.

When Lily fell asleep Ink wrote in the stars

"_Goodnight Lily"_


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